Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
