and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
