You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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