Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
