he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
