I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
