ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize