There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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