Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
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definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
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I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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