sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
