i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
