So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
