So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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