Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
