she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
