Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
