ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
look no pants
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
