Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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