I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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