you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
