Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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