How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
