Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
