I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
