It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
