Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
