i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
