So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Naked. naked and bneed help.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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