..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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