I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
