Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize