i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
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I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
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I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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