apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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