you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
did you just send me my own nude
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
