I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
