just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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