i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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