Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
