My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize