piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
