everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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