thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
