We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
