Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
