This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize