How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
