Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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