First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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