so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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