she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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