it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
