Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
