I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize