I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
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He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
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And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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