it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
