p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
